Rachel Ray got famous for her 30 minute meals but I've got her beat by 10 minutes easy! Let's face it, by the time most of us get home from work, or are ready to put dinner on the table after an afternoon of chauffeuring the kids around to various activities, who has the energy to make a bit production out of dinner? Time is of the essence both because you don't want to spend a lot of it getting dinner ready, and no one wants to spend a long time waiting to eat.
But the benefits of home-cooked food and the family dinner table are numerous and well-documented. It's important to put healthy food on the table, as opposed to so much of take out which has way more salt and fat than you'd ever use at home. And cooking your own meals is also a great way to save money-- it costs me more to feed our family at a fast food restaurant drive-through than it does to make a healthy meal. And even if you're just cooking for one (as I did for many years of my adult life), it's a great feeling to take care of yourself with a good meal.
There are plenty of cook ahead ideas I'll share in future posts -- meals you can make over the weekend, and/or in bulk, so all you have to do is heat them up in the evening.
But in this post, I wanted to share some of my favorite quick dinner ideas. None are glamorous or gourmet, but that's the point -- no one needs coq au vin or osso bucco every night! A simple, tasty, and well-balanced meal is the goal -- nothing more and nothing less.
Proteins:
Chicken sausages -- you can get them in any supermarket, and they come in at least a dozen varieties these days. I'm particularly fond of Trader Joe's Basil Pesto and Smoked Chardonnay/Apple, but they're all good. The Nature's Promise line from Giant/Stop and Shop is also great, and Costco sells Aidells' in bulk. They cook on the grill, in a grill pan, or in a saute pan in about 10 minutes. I wouldn't recommend doing them more than once a week, and I'd mix up the varieties from week to week to keep things interesting.
Ham Steaks -- a nice slab of ham, that's pre-cooked and only needs to be heated. You can warm it in the microwave in 3 minutes, or in a pan in about 8-10 minutes. Serve with mustard, or your favorite jelly for a little more sweetness.
Waterfront Bistro Fish and Seafood -- Safeway has a very good line of pre-prepped frozen fish and seafood. Yes, you read that right -- frozen. It's not as good as fresh of course, but honestly, lots of fish you get even in high end stores and restaurants was previously frozen and defrosted and you never even realize it. Besides, gourmet isn't the goal, remember? This line has salmon with a dijon sauce, herb-crusted tilapia, de-veined shrimp, bay scallops, and many other varieties and combos. You place them straight from the freezer onto a sheet pan or into a pot/pan, cook as directed, and in 15-20 minutes, your entree is ready to eat. They're low-fat, relatively low in sodium, and even my kids enjoy them.
Chicken Breast or Pork Chops -- throw defrosted meat into a ziploc back the night before you want to eat it with your favorite bottled or home-made marinade, and then cook them on a grill or a grill pan for dinner. 10-15 minutes tops.
Steak -- defrost a nice rib-eye or New York strip in the fridge the day before you want to eat it. Season with salt and pepper and grill it for another quick option.
Flank Steak -- this relatively thin cut of meat is designed to be marinated, cooked quickly, eaten on the rare side, and sliced thin. A little goes a long way! Defrost in the fridge the day before you want to serve it. Then the morning of the day you want to serve it, put it in a ziploc baggie with a little red wine or balsamic vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper. When you get home, throw it onto a screaming hot grill or grill pan, and cook for 5 minutes on each side. Let it rest for 5 minutes, slice thinly and against the grain, and serve.
Side Dishes:
Steam in bag veggies -- the cost a bit more than if you buy them from larger bins in the supermarket, but they're washed, trimmed, and ready to steam in the microwave. I always steam them for about 30-45 seconds less than recommended (I like them crisp), and then sprinkle with a little olive oil and garlic salt for extra flavor.
Steam in pouch rices and grains -- Uncle Ben's has a lot of varieties, as does Target and most supermarkets. Look for whole grain rices, quinoas, and other whole grains such as farro. 2 minutes from pantry to table.
Salads -- again, pre-washed bags of salad cost more than whole heads of lettuce, but they're SO easy and often, some variety is on sale at your local supermarket. Splash your favorite bottled or homemade dressing on them, doctor them up with pre-shredded carrots, nuts, halved grapes, dried cranberries, crumbled or grated cheeses . . . the sky's the limit.
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Less is More -- Party Planning tips
Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE to entertain. And anyone who's been to my house is probably laughing at the word "Less" in the title given the volume of food that I usually serve, but I remind you that it's just as easy to make lasagna for 4 as it is to make it for 20. And that leftovers are one of life's true joys.
Few things make me happier than having lots of people in my house, enjoying food, drink and good conversation. Indeed, when my husband and I got engaged, the very first thing we did was go out and purchase the largest dining room table we could find. And we converted our living room into a dining room, specifically because we wanted to be able to fit 22 people around the table when necessary.
How do I do it in the midst of everything else going on? Well, sometimes I put too much on myself and make it harder than it has to be. BUT over many years, I've found a lot of ways to entertain often, and keep things manageable. Hoping you will try some of these and open up your home to your friends and family more often.
1. It's the people that matter most. The key to any good gathering is the guest list. If it's good, the event will be good too.
2. Potlucks rule! I've found that people LOVE to get together with friends for meals in each others' homes, but they're often too intimidated to try to host a dinner party all by themselves. But they're ALWAYS willing to chip in for the evening. So host a potluck -- provide a main course and assign side-dishes, dessert and at least some of the drinks to other people. (A good host should always have at least a few bottles of wine and beer on hand to get things started, unless you're not the drinking types.) You'll be amazed how much people enjoy this and feel pleased that they could contribute to an event. I started doing this in our neighborhood years ago and now other families do it all the time too. Don't hesitate to do a potluck cocktail party either -- just ask for finger foods instead of side-dishes.
3. The grill is your friend. Though it means you (or someone) will have to cook while guests are over, you can marinate ahead of time, keep your kitchen from over-heating (and let's face it, everyone's gonna be in the kitchen anyway), and minimize cleanup. Pork tenderloin, London broils, and chicken breasts are particularly great as they are affordable, they cook quickly and only need to be turned once or twice while cooking. And never overlook the ever-growing selection of pork and chicken sausages you can find at your local grocery stores. Especially for summer parties!
4. Prepare ahead of time. Do as much as you possibly can ahead of time so that you can enjoy your guests. Dishes like lasagna are perfect for dinner parties -- you assemble them before anyone arrives, pop them in the oven, and serve.
5. Prepare a "tick-tock" list. I learned this one from professional event planners who map out everything that needs to be done on the day of a fundraiser and when it should happen. Make a list of everything you need to prep, put out, put in the oven, slice and serve and do your best to estimate when you should do all of these things. It prevents you from forgetting anything (like the loaves of bread that you bought to go with the lasagna but have stored in the pantry), and from having to think about what to do and when.
6. Keep it simple. It's always nice to have one signature or really impressive dish to serve, but keep everything else fairly simple. Remember, people are coming for the company and fellowship. A simple side-dish like steamed veggies, or a tossed salad is just great. Wine-only is fabulous. If you want to serve cocktails, think about making one signature cocktail only, rather than having a full bar. And by all means, think about using disposable plastic cups and plates whenever you can (they can be recycled, so don't feel too guilty!)
7. Accept help. Even if you're not doing a potluck dinner, what's the first question most people ask when accepting a dinner invitation? "What can I bring?" Give them something to bring! I LOVE to cook but do not care for making desserts at all. So I always assign dessert to someone who I know loves to bake. People are always happy to bring a bottle of wine. Salads go with just about every meal -- ask someone to bring one, and that's one less side-dish you need to think about.
And the most important part of accepting help is to remember that YOU cooked and threw the party. Your guests can clean up!!! Sure, you may have to show them where things go, but you'll have many guests who are happy to clean up for you. LET THEM!
8. Decor only matters so much. It's lovely to have some flowers on the table, or other decorations, but unless this is REALLY your thing, don't make yourself nuts about it. I have a few silk flower arrangements that I keep handy for the center of my table, and I keep a nice stash of votive candles on hand too -- that's all. No need for much else. No matter what Ina Garten's tables look like!
I think I'll stop there for now, if for no other reason, because listing too many rules makes it seem harder than it really is! But I'd love to hear your suggestions and what you do to keep entertaining feasible for yourself. If I get enough ideas, I'll put them all into my next blog post, with full attribution of course!
Few things make me happier than having lots of people in my house, enjoying food, drink and good conversation. Indeed, when my husband and I got engaged, the very first thing we did was go out and purchase the largest dining room table we could find. And we converted our living room into a dining room, specifically because we wanted to be able to fit 22 people around the table when necessary.
How do I do it in the midst of everything else going on? Well, sometimes I put too much on myself and make it harder than it has to be. BUT over many years, I've found a lot of ways to entertain often, and keep things manageable. Hoping you will try some of these and open up your home to your friends and family more often.
1. It's the people that matter most. The key to any good gathering is the guest list. If it's good, the event will be good too.
2. Potlucks rule! I've found that people LOVE to get together with friends for meals in each others' homes, but they're often too intimidated to try to host a dinner party all by themselves. But they're ALWAYS willing to chip in for the evening. So host a potluck -- provide a main course and assign side-dishes, dessert and at least some of the drinks to other people. (A good host should always have at least a few bottles of wine and beer on hand to get things started, unless you're not the drinking types.) You'll be amazed how much people enjoy this and feel pleased that they could contribute to an event. I started doing this in our neighborhood years ago and now other families do it all the time too. Don't hesitate to do a potluck cocktail party either -- just ask for finger foods instead of side-dishes.
3. The grill is your friend. Though it means you (or someone) will have to cook while guests are over, you can marinate ahead of time, keep your kitchen from over-heating (and let's face it, everyone's gonna be in the kitchen anyway), and minimize cleanup. Pork tenderloin, London broils, and chicken breasts are particularly great as they are affordable, they cook quickly and only need to be turned once or twice while cooking. And never overlook the ever-growing selection of pork and chicken sausages you can find at your local grocery stores. Especially for summer parties!
4. Prepare ahead of time. Do as much as you possibly can ahead of time so that you can enjoy your guests. Dishes like lasagna are perfect for dinner parties -- you assemble them before anyone arrives, pop them in the oven, and serve.
5. Prepare a "tick-tock" list. I learned this one from professional event planners who map out everything that needs to be done on the day of a fundraiser and when it should happen. Make a list of everything you need to prep, put out, put in the oven, slice and serve and do your best to estimate when you should do all of these things. It prevents you from forgetting anything (like the loaves of bread that you bought to go with the lasagna but have stored in the pantry), and from having to think about what to do and when.
6. Keep it simple. It's always nice to have one signature or really impressive dish to serve, but keep everything else fairly simple. Remember, people are coming for the company and fellowship. A simple side-dish like steamed veggies, or a tossed salad is just great. Wine-only is fabulous. If you want to serve cocktails, think about making one signature cocktail only, rather than having a full bar. And by all means, think about using disposable plastic cups and plates whenever you can (they can be recycled, so don't feel too guilty!)
7. Accept help. Even if you're not doing a potluck dinner, what's the first question most people ask when accepting a dinner invitation? "What can I bring?" Give them something to bring! I LOVE to cook but do not care for making desserts at all. So I always assign dessert to someone who I know loves to bake. People are always happy to bring a bottle of wine. Salads go with just about every meal -- ask someone to bring one, and that's one less side-dish you need to think about.
And the most important part of accepting help is to remember that YOU cooked and threw the party. Your guests can clean up!!! Sure, you may have to show them where things go, but you'll have many guests who are happy to clean up for you. LET THEM!
8. Decor only matters so much. It's lovely to have some flowers on the table, or other decorations, but unless this is REALLY your thing, don't make yourself nuts about it. I have a few silk flower arrangements that I keep handy for the center of my table, and I keep a nice stash of votive candles on hand too -- that's all. No need for much else. No matter what Ina Garten's tables look like!
I think I'll stop there for now, if for no other reason, because listing too many rules makes it seem harder than it really is! But I'd love to hear your suggestions and what you do to keep entertaining feasible for yourself. If I get enough ideas, I'll put them all into my next blog post, with full attribution of course!
Monday, May 4, 2015
"The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up."
The title of this post is also the title of a book I read last week (www.tidyingup.com -- available in print and ebook) that has completely changed my views on how to purge our house of excess everything. (Thanks to my friend Kim Swetz for suggesting it to me!) It's written by Marie Kondo, a professional organizer and cleaning consultant in Japan, and it's a must read for everyone, no matter where you fall on the spectrum of accumulation of clutter. Pack rats all the way down to the most spartan among us can all benefit from this book.
Kondo's basic premise is that anything that doesn't elicit in you a feeling of joy should be given away or thrown out. So that shirt that's just OK, but doesn't thrill you? Out it goes no matter how practical. The dress that never makes you feel really pretty no matter how suitable it is for so many occasions? Give it away. It might not work for you, but in giving it away, you give someone else the chance to find joy in it.
Does this sound a little too vague for you? Well, it's a lot less vague than you'd think. Kondo recommends starting with clothes (which I did) and I made one pass at my closet last Wednesday. Given that I had purged a fair amount out of it about a month ago, I was pretty amazed at what I was willing to part with. On Thursday, I went through it again and found a few more items to donate, and on Saturday, found a few more yet. By the time I went through the two closets where I have clothes (on-season and off-season), as well as all my drawers and shoe racks, I had almost 2 full contractor bags full of clothes and accessories to donate. And those who know me and have seen my house and closets would NEVER for a second call me a pack-rat, clothes horse, or an overly-consumptive person.
I also followed Kondo's suggestions for folding my shirts and socks and not only are my drawers so much better organized, but I was able to fit all the shirts that used to occupy two drawers into one (and that's not because I purged so much -- it's really just about the folding and organizing method).
I kept going -- first the linen closets. Neither overflowing by any means, all of them already neat and tidy- but at least 1/3 of what was there had to go!
Next, the kitchen. I entertain a lot so I have lots of serving pieces that I really use. But thinking about the biggest party I've ever thrown in our house, even then I didn't use all 12 platters that I had in my cabinets. 6 of them were donated to my favorite local thrift shop. Alone with excess pyrex, the margarita glasses I got for our wedding that I've only used twice, and about a dozen mugs that were making my cupboards almost burst at the seems.
Then it was Dave's turn -- he filled up an entire contractor bag to donate, and by the time I was done with the first pass at the girls' rooms (they need another pass at least!), over the course of 4 days, we filled up 4 contractors bags, 2 shopping bags and 1 large box of donations, and one contractors bag of garbage (the craft cupboard alone probably accounted for half of it!)
I'm not done -- I still have our home office, basement, and a few other rooms to do. And really, I need to spend more time in the girls' rooms. And when I'm done, I may go over everything once more to see what more I can purge.
It feels FANTASTIC!!!!! I can't even begin to tell you how great it is to walk into the large closet that I share with Dave. Already, it gives me a feeling of serenity because I can see at a glance everything we have. Same for the kitchen (though I still have more to do there -- what am I ever going to do with all the little ceramic figurines that the girlies have painted over the last few years???). I don't have to unload lots of heavy bowls and platters just to get at the one that I need for dinner any longer.
But best of all, it's motivated me to think really critically about pretty much every aspect of my life, both personal and professional -- what is either the literal or figurative clutter in my life that's keeping me from seeing things more clearly? From experiencing life more clearly?
You know the endorphin rush that some get from exercise? I get it from purging and organizing . . . I'm feeling so good and positive right now. But I've never really thought of applying those principles to the non-stuff in my life. I don't know where it will lead me, but I'm eager to see where it goes -- will be sure to share my thoughts, experiences and insights as I proceed.
I really can't recommend this book to ALL of you enough -- it's so liberating!
Kondo's basic premise is that anything that doesn't elicit in you a feeling of joy should be given away or thrown out. So that shirt that's just OK, but doesn't thrill you? Out it goes no matter how practical. The dress that never makes you feel really pretty no matter how suitable it is for so many occasions? Give it away. It might not work for you, but in giving it away, you give someone else the chance to find joy in it.
Does this sound a little too vague for you? Well, it's a lot less vague than you'd think. Kondo recommends starting with clothes (which I did) and I made one pass at my closet last Wednesday. Given that I had purged a fair amount out of it about a month ago, I was pretty amazed at what I was willing to part with. On Thursday, I went through it again and found a few more items to donate, and on Saturday, found a few more yet. By the time I went through the two closets where I have clothes (on-season and off-season), as well as all my drawers and shoe racks, I had almost 2 full contractor bags full of clothes and accessories to donate. And those who know me and have seen my house and closets would NEVER for a second call me a pack-rat, clothes horse, or an overly-consumptive person.
I also followed Kondo's suggestions for folding my shirts and socks and not only are my drawers so much better organized, but I was able to fit all the shirts that used to occupy two drawers into one (and that's not because I purged so much -- it's really just about the folding and organizing method).
I kept going -- first the linen closets. Neither overflowing by any means, all of them already neat and tidy- but at least 1/3 of what was there had to go!
Next, the kitchen. I entertain a lot so I have lots of serving pieces that I really use. But thinking about the biggest party I've ever thrown in our house, even then I didn't use all 12 platters that I had in my cabinets. 6 of them were donated to my favorite local thrift shop. Alone with excess pyrex, the margarita glasses I got for our wedding that I've only used twice, and about a dozen mugs that were making my cupboards almost burst at the seems.
Then it was Dave's turn -- he filled up an entire contractor bag to donate, and by the time I was done with the first pass at the girls' rooms (they need another pass at least!), over the course of 4 days, we filled up 4 contractors bags, 2 shopping bags and 1 large box of donations, and one contractors bag of garbage (the craft cupboard alone probably accounted for half of it!)
I'm not done -- I still have our home office, basement, and a few other rooms to do. And really, I need to spend more time in the girls' rooms. And when I'm done, I may go over everything once more to see what more I can purge.
It feels FANTASTIC!!!!! I can't even begin to tell you how great it is to walk into the large closet that I share with Dave. Already, it gives me a feeling of serenity because I can see at a glance everything we have. Same for the kitchen (though I still have more to do there -- what am I ever going to do with all the little ceramic figurines that the girlies have painted over the last few years???). I don't have to unload lots of heavy bowls and platters just to get at the one that I need for dinner any longer.
But best of all, it's motivated me to think really critically about pretty much every aspect of my life, both personal and professional -- what is either the literal or figurative clutter in my life that's keeping me from seeing things more clearly? From experiencing life more clearly?
You know the endorphin rush that some get from exercise? I get it from purging and organizing . . . I'm feeling so good and positive right now. But I've never really thought of applying those principles to the non-stuff in my life. I don't know where it will lead me, but I'm eager to see where it goes -- will be sure to share my thoughts, experiences and insights as I proceed.
I really can't recommend this book to ALL of you enough -- it's so liberating!
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Downsizing your wardrobe
With the exception of the stubborn Northeastern United States, Spring has sprung and I know that all of you are turning over your closets -- moving your winter clothes into spare closets, and bringing out the spring and summer clothes. This is the perfect time to clean out your closets and drawers as well, because let's face it, we all have more than we can honestly wear. I clean out my wardrobe at least twice and year and it always amazes me how much I am able to give away.
And trust me when I tell you that there's nothing to make you go "ahhhhhh . . ." like getting rid of the excess from your closets, drawers, or wherever else you store your clothes. Most importantly, there are so many others in your communities who desperately need the clothes that you no longer need, so look at it as an opportunity to earn some good karma, while simplifying your life and de-cluttering at the same time.
Here are my rules of thumb for cleaning out old clothes:
1. If I haven't had it on my body in the last 365 days, it's time to give it away. I make rare exceptions for sentimental reasons (ie, the dress I was wearing when my husband proposed to me, or the vintage sweater that my father bought my mother God-only-knows how many years ago), but if you're making more than 1 exception per cleaning cycle, then you're making too many exceptions!
2. No matter how much I love the piece of clothing, if there is any sort of stain, rip, tear, snag, or other imperfection, out it goes. That's nature's way of telling you it's time to go. (These items, by the way, shouldn't be donated -- even low-income people deserve in-tact and clean clothing.)
3. If I've got more than a 2-week rotation of any one category of clothing, it's time to pare down the herd. For example, in any given season I don't need more than 14 pairs of work-appropriate pants, nor do I need more than 14 blouses, or 14 sweaters, or 14 skirts. (And honestly, even this is too much, but I do like to have options.) You get the idea. Now, I know that 14 might not be the right number for some of you and for some items, but the point isn't necessarily the 14, but instead to seriously think about how much you actually need, and then to take steps to reduce your wardrobe to that level. Remember, there are plenty of folks out there who could really benefit from your donations.
Give it a try -- if you're not used to regularly cleaning out your closets and drawers, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by how liberating this is!
And trust me when I tell you that there's nothing to make you go "ahhhhhh . . ." like getting rid of the excess from your closets, drawers, or wherever else you store your clothes. Most importantly, there are so many others in your communities who desperately need the clothes that you no longer need, so look at it as an opportunity to earn some good karma, while simplifying your life and de-cluttering at the same time.
Here are my rules of thumb for cleaning out old clothes:
1. If I haven't had it on my body in the last 365 days, it's time to give it away. I make rare exceptions for sentimental reasons (ie, the dress I was wearing when my husband proposed to me, or the vintage sweater that my father bought my mother God-only-knows how many years ago), but if you're making more than 1 exception per cleaning cycle, then you're making too many exceptions!
2. No matter how much I love the piece of clothing, if there is any sort of stain, rip, tear, snag, or other imperfection, out it goes. That's nature's way of telling you it's time to go. (These items, by the way, shouldn't be donated -- even low-income people deserve in-tact and clean clothing.)
3. If I've got more than a 2-week rotation of any one category of clothing, it's time to pare down the herd. For example, in any given season I don't need more than 14 pairs of work-appropriate pants, nor do I need more than 14 blouses, or 14 sweaters, or 14 skirts. (And honestly, even this is too much, but I do like to have options.) You get the idea. Now, I know that 14 might not be the right number for some of you and for some items, but the point isn't necessarily the 14, but instead to seriously think about how much you actually need, and then to take steps to reduce your wardrobe to that level. Remember, there are plenty of folks out there who could really benefit from your donations.
Give it a try -- if you're not used to regularly cleaning out your closets and drawers, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by how liberating this is!
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Say Goodbye to the Grocery Store
Unlike many people, I LOVE going food shopping. I love wandering up and down the aisles, perusing produce, deli counters, and butcher cases. I love imagining all the yummy meals I'm gonna make, and I love the unexpected things I see that give me new ideas for the kitchen.
But there are two problems with this -- 1) the entire process from door to door usually takes me at least 90 minutes, if not more; and 2) I spend WAY more than I should between impulse buys and over-purchases.
Once I had Katy (kid #2), I knew I had to start looking for ways both big and small to start shaving time out of my weekly activities so I could have more time for my kids. (And the pressure of double day care certainly made me want to economize as well.) So I finally bit the bullet and did what I swore I'd never do -- I opened up a Peapod.Com account and ordered my groceries. My objections were two-fold: 1) I enjoy food shopping so why give it up; and 2) I was worried about the quality of produce and meat that I'd get.
Well, it took me one order and I was a convert. And over the course of the next two months, I was signing in the metaphorical choir I loved it so much.
Do you know when I do my food shopping these days? When I'm waiting for a meeting to start. When I'm on a tedious conference call. When I'm waiting in the carpool line to pick up my kids. When I lay down in bed at night and take the last look at my phone before I go to sleep. When I'm stuck in traffic and not moving at all.
How long does it take me? 5 minutes. Once you've shopped about 3-4 times, you've probably already ordered most of the standard groceries you buy at least once a month. They all stay on your master list which you can peruse and quickly click the box next to what you want to buy. To the extend you need anything else, there's a quick and easy search feature.
But wait, you ask . . won't I spend extra money because of the delivery fee and tipping the delivery person? (And YES, you DO need to tip the delivery person -- at least $5). Actually, I find that I save about 40% per week on average when I shop on line instead of the supermarket even with the delivery fee and tip included. When I'm done selecting everything I want to buy, I then have to review my order. When I look at it, I always see that I ordered too much of something. And if the total is more than I want to spend, I simply look to eliminate some things. I can always get my order down to the number I want it to be. Not so easy to do this at the check out line in the store. I also curb my impulse shopping tremendously. Perhaps the savings won't be as big for those of you who are more disciplined and less enamored of the goodies in the grocery store, but I can assure you, this is still cost effective.
And what about quality? What I quickly learned is that everything that is home delivered goes straight from the warehouse to the truck to my house. I don't get last dibs on produce, I get first dibs. It's almost always better and fresher than what's at the supermarket. And yes, there's the rare dud, but that happens sometimes even when you pick out your own groceries. The few times it's happened, I've gotten a credit on my account with a simple phone call or email.
There are a number of services that deliver -- Peapod, Fresh Direct, Safeway in some areas. I'm sure there are others. And though Wegmans doesn't deliver, they do have an online order form and then they'll bag up your groceries and deliver them to you at the curb at an appointed time - -doesn't save quite as much time as delivery, but does save some. And helps impose discipline against impulse buys and over-purchasing.
I thought I'd hate it -- but it's turned out that having my groceries delivered is one of the single best streamlining tools I've put in place. Give it a try for a month and see if you agree!
But there are two problems with this -- 1) the entire process from door to door usually takes me at least 90 minutes, if not more; and 2) I spend WAY more than I should between impulse buys and over-purchases.
Once I had Katy (kid #2), I knew I had to start looking for ways both big and small to start shaving time out of my weekly activities so I could have more time for my kids. (And the pressure of double day care certainly made me want to economize as well.) So I finally bit the bullet and did what I swore I'd never do -- I opened up a Peapod.Com account and ordered my groceries. My objections were two-fold: 1) I enjoy food shopping so why give it up; and 2) I was worried about the quality of produce and meat that I'd get.
Well, it took me one order and I was a convert. And over the course of the next two months, I was signing in the metaphorical choir I loved it so much.
Do you know when I do my food shopping these days? When I'm waiting for a meeting to start. When I'm on a tedious conference call. When I'm waiting in the carpool line to pick up my kids. When I lay down in bed at night and take the last look at my phone before I go to sleep. When I'm stuck in traffic and not moving at all.
How long does it take me? 5 minutes. Once you've shopped about 3-4 times, you've probably already ordered most of the standard groceries you buy at least once a month. They all stay on your master list which you can peruse and quickly click the box next to what you want to buy. To the extend you need anything else, there's a quick and easy search feature.
But wait, you ask . . won't I spend extra money because of the delivery fee and tipping the delivery person? (And YES, you DO need to tip the delivery person -- at least $5). Actually, I find that I save about 40% per week on average when I shop on line instead of the supermarket even with the delivery fee and tip included. When I'm done selecting everything I want to buy, I then have to review my order. When I look at it, I always see that I ordered too much of something. And if the total is more than I want to spend, I simply look to eliminate some things. I can always get my order down to the number I want it to be. Not so easy to do this at the check out line in the store. I also curb my impulse shopping tremendously. Perhaps the savings won't be as big for those of you who are more disciplined and less enamored of the goodies in the grocery store, but I can assure you, this is still cost effective.
And what about quality? What I quickly learned is that everything that is home delivered goes straight from the warehouse to the truck to my house. I don't get last dibs on produce, I get first dibs. It's almost always better and fresher than what's at the supermarket. And yes, there's the rare dud, but that happens sometimes even when you pick out your own groceries. The few times it's happened, I've gotten a credit on my account with a simple phone call or email.
There are a number of services that deliver -- Peapod, Fresh Direct, Safeway in some areas. I'm sure there are others. And though Wegmans doesn't deliver, they do have an online order form and then they'll bag up your groceries and deliver them to you at the curb at an appointed time - -doesn't save quite as much time as delivery, but does save some. And helps impose discipline against impulse buys and over-purchasing.
I thought I'd hate it -- but it's turned out that having my groceries delivered is one of the single best streamlining tools I've put in place. Give it a try for a month and see if you agree!
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Balance, Shmalance
Every adult I know, whether they are formally employed or not, is searching for that elusive "work/life balance" we hear so much about in the media and general zeitgeist. I've spent a lot of my adult life looking for it, and did so long before I got married and had kids. "Balance" isn't and shouldn't be dependent on one's status as a parent, caretaker or half of a couple.
But over the years, I've come to really disdain and actively discourage the use of the word "balance" because I think it puts too much pressure on us to achieve the unachievable. Think about the word: at least in my lawyerly mind, balance implies the scales being equal -- there being some measure of equilibrium that's achieved. Indeed, one of the definitions of balance is "equality of distribution." To me, it's a static notion, one that doesn't really truly account for the ebbs and flows of our lives, and an overly idealistic one.
Think about our lives . . . in any given day or week, something is more time-sensitive or urgent than other things, whether it be a work deadline, a sick child, a school project, a planned trip or family event, or just the sheer volume of your "to do" list at work or at home. There's always something weighing the scale down in one direction or the other -- it's never "balanced."
And why does this matter? I've come to believe that the mere use of the word "balance" causes far too many people to look for some work/life Nirvana that can never exist. And in putting that kind of pressure on ourselves, we set ourselves for failure and all the psychological, and perhaps physical, baggage that comes with it.
Instead, let me suggest two synonyms for balance that, to me, imply a very different way of thinking about things -- harmony and proportion.
I don't seek balance between my personal and professional obligations and interests. Instead, I seek, overall, to make sure that neither part of my life consistently overwhelms the other (proportion), and that they somehow all feed different parts of my soul (harmony). While nothing in this world matters more to me than those in my immediate family, were most of my life devoted just to them, I wouldn't feed the part of me that needs to work toward social justice in the world at large. Yet were I to devote every waking hour to the work I find so important, I would miss out on the moments with my family that bring me more joy than anything else. Just two examples, and two basic ones at that. Other things that matter to me are personal relationships, vacations, having art in my life, whether it be music or theater or something else, and feeling like I'm tangibly achieving things in all aspects of my life, whether it be a successful work campaign, or a cooking a delicious dinner for my family and friends.
I don't pretend that any of this is easy and that simply abandoning the thought of "balance" solves all my problems -- far from it. I'm often overwhelmed, over-committed, over-tired, or just plain over-it-all!
But what I do find is that when I stopped trying to achieve balance, I also started taking it easier on myself and accepting that sometimes I'd have to sacrifice a bit at work to be the kind of mother I wanted to be, and that sometimes I'd have to do a little bit less at home and with my girls than I'd like, because what I was doing at work was so important and rewarding. I gave myself "permission," if you will, to slack off a little bit, with the knowledge that it was perfectly OK to do so. I made a choice and I owned it, because I wasn't trying to achieve the unachievable -- just make the best decision in a moment in time.
Consistent with my last post on the benefits of the "good enough" standard, I think that the more we let go of the "ideal" as something to strive for in an uncompromising fashion, (because let's face it, ideals aren't really attainable or they wouldn't be ideals), and the more we look for harmony and proportion in our lives, the more likely we are to be pleased with the results we achieve, and the more we are likely to be pleased with ourselves.
What do you think? Eager to read your comments and thoughts.
But over the years, I've come to really disdain and actively discourage the use of the word "balance" because I think it puts too much pressure on us to achieve the unachievable. Think about the word: at least in my lawyerly mind, balance implies the scales being equal -- there being some measure of equilibrium that's achieved. Indeed, one of the definitions of balance is "equality of distribution." To me, it's a static notion, one that doesn't really truly account for the ebbs and flows of our lives, and an overly idealistic one.
Think about our lives . . . in any given day or week, something is more time-sensitive or urgent than other things, whether it be a work deadline, a sick child, a school project, a planned trip or family event, or just the sheer volume of your "to do" list at work or at home. There's always something weighing the scale down in one direction or the other -- it's never "balanced."
And why does this matter? I've come to believe that the mere use of the word "balance" causes far too many people to look for some work/life Nirvana that can never exist. And in putting that kind of pressure on ourselves, we set ourselves for failure and all the psychological, and perhaps physical, baggage that comes with it.
Instead, let me suggest two synonyms for balance that, to me, imply a very different way of thinking about things -- harmony and proportion.
I don't seek balance between my personal and professional obligations and interests. Instead, I seek, overall, to make sure that neither part of my life consistently overwhelms the other (proportion), and that they somehow all feed different parts of my soul (harmony). While nothing in this world matters more to me than those in my immediate family, were most of my life devoted just to them, I wouldn't feed the part of me that needs to work toward social justice in the world at large. Yet were I to devote every waking hour to the work I find so important, I would miss out on the moments with my family that bring me more joy than anything else. Just two examples, and two basic ones at that. Other things that matter to me are personal relationships, vacations, having art in my life, whether it be music or theater or something else, and feeling like I'm tangibly achieving things in all aspects of my life, whether it be a successful work campaign, or a cooking a delicious dinner for my family and friends.
I don't pretend that any of this is easy and that simply abandoning the thought of "balance" solves all my problems -- far from it. I'm often overwhelmed, over-committed, over-tired, or just plain over-it-all!
But what I do find is that when I stopped trying to achieve balance, I also started taking it easier on myself and accepting that sometimes I'd have to sacrifice a bit at work to be the kind of mother I wanted to be, and that sometimes I'd have to do a little bit less at home and with my girls than I'd like, because what I was doing at work was so important and rewarding. I gave myself "permission," if you will, to slack off a little bit, with the knowledge that it was perfectly OK to do so. I made a choice and I owned it, because I wasn't trying to achieve the unachievable -- just make the best decision in a moment in time.
Consistent with my last post on the benefits of the "good enough" standard, I think that the more we let go of the "ideal" as something to strive for in an uncompromising fashion, (because let's face it, ideals aren't really attainable or they wouldn't be ideals), and the more we look for harmony and proportion in our lives, the more likely we are to be pleased with the results we achieve, and the more we are likely to be pleased with ourselves.
What do you think? Eager to read your comments and thoughts.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Good Enough!
The best movie I've seen in years is Whiplash. (Seriously, if you haven't seen it yet, you must! It's riveting and electrifying, and the acting is uniformly exceptional, especially JK Simmons who deserves every one of the awards he's going to win this season including the Oscar.) The movie is about a music teacher and his protege, both obsessive in their own ways about being exceptional. The teacher, a maniacal lunatic, the likes of which I hope my daughters never see, posits that the worst two words in the English language are "Good Job." In his view, this phrase makes people stop aiming for excellence and settle for what's good enough. It was a compelling scene near the end of the movie that brought this character into focus and context.
So yay for Hollywood and cinema. It was a line in a scene that really worked and I ate it up in the moment.
But the problem is, for years, I've been telling people around me that part of the secret to managing a hectic life with a lot of responsibilities is to have "good enough" be the standard you try to achieve. Mind you, the word enough is significant -- it means that the good has to be really good -- good enough to get the job done, whatever the job may be, and whether professional or personal. But enough also means that once the job is done, stop and move on. Don't endeavor to go above and beyond because in most circumstances it's neither necessary nor worth it.
It's something I started trying to imbue in my employees back in the early 2000s. I was running a nonprofit organization that was under-resourced, under-staffed, and always would be no matter how much money we raised, because the depth of the need we were trying to serve was immense. I kept stressing to all the bright young lawyers and professionals right out of school that our standard had to be "good enough"-- that if we went beyond that, we would serve fewer people with the help they needed. Wasn't it better to do just what was necessary to get the job done and then move onto the next person, rather than going all out for one, and neglecting the next?
As I got older, and especially once I had children and started balancing work with motherhood, I realized that good enough is the standard to reach for in virtually everything. After too many periods in my life when I tried to be all things to all people, and was nearly crushed under the weight of my own expectations, I realized that I couldn't beat myself up over trying to be the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect advocate or the perfect friend. I'd never achieve even one of those things even in isolation, let alone in combination. But if I set my sights on good enough, I took a lot of pressure off myself AND accomplished a whole lot more.
We've all heard the maxim "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of good." In the world in which I live, I pretty much see most people do just that all the time. And that's no criticism of them, per se -- I am surrounded by very bright, highly educated and successful people. They got where they are by being driven to excellence. So it seems contrary to all of a sudden talk about being "good enough" but I think the reality of leading a busy and multi-faceted life (whether one is parenting or not), means we need to let go of perfectionism and the need to always be excellent because let's face it, excellence is rarely what's needed in most situations.
My kids don't need me to be the most perfect mother ever -- volunteering at every single event and activity, always giving them organic, 100% natural, homemade food at every turn, tending to their every need the moment they have it. Because let's face it, that would be entirely insufferable! But they need me to be supportive, to show up when I can, to nourish them well, and love them enough to let them be independent. Good enough!!!
Work doesn't need me to work 16 hours a day, to the exclusion of all else, nor does it require that everything I write or produce be an exhaustive academic discourse on the subject at hand. Rather, I'm required to multi-task, to make complicated concepts simple enough for people to understand, and to get things done in a timely and nimble fashion, rather than a perfect one. Good enough!!!
And lord knows my husband and friends don't want perfection out of me -- how tedious would that be? Right? Good enough!
And the best part of good enough? It eliminates so much guilt! I don't feel guilty for all the things I can't get to, or can't manage to do. Instead, I look at what I can accomplish, knowing that in whatever realm I'm doing it, that things are a little bit better for those around me because of what I do, rather than what I don't get to.
For those of you that are too hard on yourself, it's going to take some work to get comfortable with good enough. But start practicing -- strive for good enough in one aspect of your life at a time -- let go a little bit at a time and become comfortable with it. Expand a little bit at a time and see what it can do to help transform your life. I would bet that after a while, you'll feel a lot less pressure and a lot less guilt about very many things. And what's not good enough about that?
So yay for Hollywood and cinema. It was a line in a scene that really worked and I ate it up in the moment.
But the problem is, for years, I've been telling people around me that part of the secret to managing a hectic life with a lot of responsibilities is to have "good enough" be the standard you try to achieve. Mind you, the word enough is significant -- it means that the good has to be really good -- good enough to get the job done, whatever the job may be, and whether professional or personal. But enough also means that once the job is done, stop and move on. Don't endeavor to go above and beyond because in most circumstances it's neither necessary nor worth it.
It's something I started trying to imbue in my employees back in the early 2000s. I was running a nonprofit organization that was under-resourced, under-staffed, and always would be no matter how much money we raised, because the depth of the need we were trying to serve was immense. I kept stressing to all the bright young lawyers and professionals right out of school that our standard had to be "good enough"-- that if we went beyond that, we would serve fewer people with the help they needed. Wasn't it better to do just what was necessary to get the job done and then move onto the next person, rather than going all out for one, and neglecting the next?
As I got older, and especially once I had children and started balancing work with motherhood, I realized that good enough is the standard to reach for in virtually everything. After too many periods in my life when I tried to be all things to all people, and was nearly crushed under the weight of my own expectations, I realized that I couldn't beat myself up over trying to be the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect advocate or the perfect friend. I'd never achieve even one of those things even in isolation, let alone in combination. But if I set my sights on good enough, I took a lot of pressure off myself AND accomplished a whole lot more.
We've all heard the maxim "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of good." In the world in which I live, I pretty much see most people do just that all the time. And that's no criticism of them, per se -- I am surrounded by very bright, highly educated and successful people. They got where they are by being driven to excellence. So it seems contrary to all of a sudden talk about being "good enough" but I think the reality of leading a busy and multi-faceted life (whether one is parenting or not), means we need to let go of perfectionism and the need to always be excellent because let's face it, excellence is rarely what's needed in most situations.
My kids don't need me to be the most perfect mother ever -- volunteering at every single event and activity, always giving them organic, 100% natural, homemade food at every turn, tending to their every need the moment they have it. Because let's face it, that would be entirely insufferable! But they need me to be supportive, to show up when I can, to nourish them well, and love them enough to let them be independent. Good enough!!!
Work doesn't need me to work 16 hours a day, to the exclusion of all else, nor does it require that everything I write or produce be an exhaustive academic discourse on the subject at hand. Rather, I'm required to multi-task, to make complicated concepts simple enough for people to understand, and to get things done in a timely and nimble fashion, rather than a perfect one. Good enough!!!
And lord knows my husband and friends don't want perfection out of me -- how tedious would that be? Right? Good enough!
And the best part of good enough? It eliminates so much guilt! I don't feel guilty for all the things I can't get to, or can't manage to do. Instead, I look at what I can accomplish, knowing that in whatever realm I'm doing it, that things are a little bit better for those around me because of what I do, rather than what I don't get to.
For those of you that are too hard on yourself, it's going to take some work to get comfortable with good enough. But start practicing -- strive for good enough in one aspect of your life at a time -- let go a little bit at a time and become comfortable with it. Expand a little bit at a time and see what it can do to help transform your life. I would bet that after a while, you'll feel a lot less pressure and a lot less guilt about very many things. And what's not good enough about that?
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