Unlike many people, I LOVE going food shopping. I love wandering up and down the aisles, perusing produce, deli counters, and butcher cases. I love imagining all the yummy meals I'm gonna make, and I love the unexpected things I see that give me new ideas for the kitchen.
But there are two problems with this -- 1) the entire process from door to door usually takes me at least 90 minutes, if not more; and 2) I spend WAY more than I should between impulse buys and over-purchases.
Once I had Katy (kid #2), I knew I had to start looking for ways both big and small to start shaving time out of my weekly activities so I could have more time for my kids. (And the pressure of double day care certainly made me want to economize as well.) So I finally bit the bullet and did what I swore I'd never do -- I opened up a Peapod.Com account and ordered my groceries. My objections were two-fold: 1) I enjoy food shopping so why give it up; and 2) I was worried about the quality of produce and meat that I'd get.
Well, it took me one order and I was a convert. And over the course of the next two months, I was signing in the metaphorical choir I loved it so much.
Do you know when I do my food shopping these days? When I'm waiting for a meeting to start. When I'm on a tedious conference call. When I'm waiting in the carpool line to pick up my kids. When I lay down in bed at night and take the last look at my phone before I go to sleep. When I'm stuck in traffic and not moving at all.
How long does it take me? 5 minutes. Once you've shopped about 3-4 times, you've probably already ordered most of the standard groceries you buy at least once a month. They all stay on your master list which you can peruse and quickly click the box next to what you want to buy. To the extend you need anything else, there's a quick and easy search feature.
But wait, you ask . . won't I spend extra money because of the delivery fee and tipping the delivery person? (And YES, you DO need to tip the delivery person -- at least $5). Actually, I find that I save about 40% per week on average when I shop on line instead of the supermarket even with the delivery fee and tip included. When I'm done selecting everything I want to buy, I then have to review my order. When I look at it, I always see that I ordered too much of something. And if the total is more than I want to spend, I simply look to eliminate some things. I can always get my order down to the number I want it to be. Not so easy to do this at the check out line in the store. I also curb my impulse shopping tremendously. Perhaps the savings won't be as big for those of you who are more disciplined and less enamored of the goodies in the grocery store, but I can assure you, this is still cost effective.
And what about quality? What I quickly learned is that everything that is home delivered goes straight from the warehouse to the truck to my house. I don't get last dibs on produce, I get first dibs. It's almost always better and fresher than what's at the supermarket. And yes, there's the rare dud, but that happens sometimes even when you pick out your own groceries. The few times it's happened, I've gotten a credit on my account with a simple phone call or email.
There are a number of services that deliver -- Peapod, Fresh Direct, Safeway in some areas. I'm sure there are others. And though Wegmans doesn't deliver, they do have an online order form and then they'll bag up your groceries and deliver them to you at the curb at an appointed time - -doesn't save quite as much time as delivery, but does save some. And helps impose discipline against impulse buys and over-purchasing.
I thought I'd hate it -- but it's turned out that having my groceries delivered is one of the single best streamlining tools I've put in place. Give it a try for a month and see if you agree!
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
Balance, Shmalance
Every adult I know, whether they are formally employed or not, is searching for that elusive "work/life balance" we hear so much about in the media and general zeitgeist. I've spent a lot of my adult life looking for it, and did so long before I got married and had kids. "Balance" isn't and shouldn't be dependent on one's status as a parent, caretaker or half of a couple.
But over the years, I've come to really disdain and actively discourage the use of the word "balance" because I think it puts too much pressure on us to achieve the unachievable. Think about the word: at least in my lawyerly mind, balance implies the scales being equal -- there being some measure of equilibrium that's achieved. Indeed, one of the definitions of balance is "equality of distribution." To me, it's a static notion, one that doesn't really truly account for the ebbs and flows of our lives, and an overly idealistic one.
Think about our lives . . . in any given day or week, something is more time-sensitive or urgent than other things, whether it be a work deadline, a sick child, a school project, a planned trip or family event, or just the sheer volume of your "to do" list at work or at home. There's always something weighing the scale down in one direction or the other -- it's never "balanced."
And why does this matter? I've come to believe that the mere use of the word "balance" causes far too many people to look for some work/life Nirvana that can never exist. And in putting that kind of pressure on ourselves, we set ourselves for failure and all the psychological, and perhaps physical, baggage that comes with it.
Instead, let me suggest two synonyms for balance that, to me, imply a very different way of thinking about things -- harmony and proportion.
I don't seek balance between my personal and professional obligations and interests. Instead, I seek, overall, to make sure that neither part of my life consistently overwhelms the other (proportion), and that they somehow all feed different parts of my soul (harmony). While nothing in this world matters more to me than those in my immediate family, were most of my life devoted just to them, I wouldn't feed the part of me that needs to work toward social justice in the world at large. Yet were I to devote every waking hour to the work I find so important, I would miss out on the moments with my family that bring me more joy than anything else. Just two examples, and two basic ones at that. Other things that matter to me are personal relationships, vacations, having art in my life, whether it be music or theater or something else, and feeling like I'm tangibly achieving things in all aspects of my life, whether it be a successful work campaign, or a cooking a delicious dinner for my family and friends.
I don't pretend that any of this is easy and that simply abandoning the thought of "balance" solves all my problems -- far from it. I'm often overwhelmed, over-committed, over-tired, or just plain over-it-all!
But what I do find is that when I stopped trying to achieve balance, I also started taking it easier on myself and accepting that sometimes I'd have to sacrifice a bit at work to be the kind of mother I wanted to be, and that sometimes I'd have to do a little bit less at home and with my girls than I'd like, because what I was doing at work was so important and rewarding. I gave myself "permission," if you will, to slack off a little bit, with the knowledge that it was perfectly OK to do so. I made a choice and I owned it, because I wasn't trying to achieve the unachievable -- just make the best decision in a moment in time.
Consistent with my last post on the benefits of the "good enough" standard, I think that the more we let go of the "ideal" as something to strive for in an uncompromising fashion, (because let's face it, ideals aren't really attainable or they wouldn't be ideals), and the more we look for harmony and proportion in our lives, the more likely we are to be pleased with the results we achieve, and the more we are likely to be pleased with ourselves.
What do you think? Eager to read your comments and thoughts.
But over the years, I've come to really disdain and actively discourage the use of the word "balance" because I think it puts too much pressure on us to achieve the unachievable. Think about the word: at least in my lawyerly mind, balance implies the scales being equal -- there being some measure of equilibrium that's achieved. Indeed, one of the definitions of balance is "equality of distribution." To me, it's a static notion, one that doesn't really truly account for the ebbs and flows of our lives, and an overly idealistic one.
Think about our lives . . . in any given day or week, something is more time-sensitive or urgent than other things, whether it be a work deadline, a sick child, a school project, a planned trip or family event, or just the sheer volume of your "to do" list at work or at home. There's always something weighing the scale down in one direction or the other -- it's never "balanced."
And why does this matter? I've come to believe that the mere use of the word "balance" causes far too many people to look for some work/life Nirvana that can never exist. And in putting that kind of pressure on ourselves, we set ourselves for failure and all the psychological, and perhaps physical, baggage that comes with it.
Instead, let me suggest two synonyms for balance that, to me, imply a very different way of thinking about things -- harmony and proportion.
I don't seek balance between my personal and professional obligations and interests. Instead, I seek, overall, to make sure that neither part of my life consistently overwhelms the other (proportion), and that they somehow all feed different parts of my soul (harmony). While nothing in this world matters more to me than those in my immediate family, were most of my life devoted just to them, I wouldn't feed the part of me that needs to work toward social justice in the world at large. Yet were I to devote every waking hour to the work I find so important, I would miss out on the moments with my family that bring me more joy than anything else. Just two examples, and two basic ones at that. Other things that matter to me are personal relationships, vacations, having art in my life, whether it be music or theater or something else, and feeling like I'm tangibly achieving things in all aspects of my life, whether it be a successful work campaign, or a cooking a delicious dinner for my family and friends.
I don't pretend that any of this is easy and that simply abandoning the thought of "balance" solves all my problems -- far from it. I'm often overwhelmed, over-committed, over-tired, or just plain over-it-all!
But what I do find is that when I stopped trying to achieve balance, I also started taking it easier on myself and accepting that sometimes I'd have to sacrifice a bit at work to be the kind of mother I wanted to be, and that sometimes I'd have to do a little bit less at home and with my girls than I'd like, because what I was doing at work was so important and rewarding. I gave myself "permission," if you will, to slack off a little bit, with the knowledge that it was perfectly OK to do so. I made a choice and I owned it, because I wasn't trying to achieve the unachievable -- just make the best decision in a moment in time.
Consistent with my last post on the benefits of the "good enough" standard, I think that the more we let go of the "ideal" as something to strive for in an uncompromising fashion, (because let's face it, ideals aren't really attainable or they wouldn't be ideals), and the more we look for harmony and proportion in our lives, the more likely we are to be pleased with the results we achieve, and the more we are likely to be pleased with ourselves.
What do you think? Eager to read your comments and thoughts.
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